Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
too bad you live with your parents still
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize