i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize