Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize