Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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