May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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