My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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