It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
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