I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
We need to rekindle our bromance
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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