He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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