I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize