Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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