Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I cockslap morals
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize