You work out of a Hotel?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
He has the fingertips of a God
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