i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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