so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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