what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize