porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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