i just wanna soil my oats bro
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize