he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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