i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize