definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize