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kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
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