no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
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I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
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You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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