I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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