if you like me you must not know who I am
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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