We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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