Texts From Last Night

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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.

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  (413): I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together. http://tfl.nu/48v7
  Replies (20) Good night (5838) Bad night (798) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am

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  (513): Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am http://tfl.nu/6qjs
  Replies (7) Good night (1993) Bad night (468) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball

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  (925): He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball http://tfl.nu/qmmn
  Replies (43) Good night (650) Bad night (4650) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling

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  (617): i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling http://tfl.nu/51p6
  Replies (17) Good night (3380) Bad night (761) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.

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  (413): You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago. http://tfl.nu/l8io
  Replies (10) Good night (5802) Bad night (1079)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.

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  (360): He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured. http://tfl.nu/js6x
  Replies (63) Good night (5473) Bad night (881) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.

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  (613): you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there. http://tfl.nu/1v1m
  Replies (4) Good night (3206) Bad night (709)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick

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  (304): when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick http://tfl.nu/j5fw
  Replies (22) Good night (5473) Bad night (939) Order T-Shirt
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.

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  (810): I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago. http://tfl.nu/b9vc
  Replies (21) Good night (4682) Bad night (950) Order T-Shirt
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  (61): View more from Australia

  Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed

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  (61): Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed http://tfl.nu/qr9l
  Replies (10) Good night (4498) Bad night (800) Order T-Shirt
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....

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  (972): Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories.... http://tfl.nu/damv
  Replies (6) Good night (2256) Bad night (472) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Who are you high with right now?

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  (513): chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it. (513): Who are you high with right now? http://tfl.nu/0n4i
  Replies (11) Good night (1934) Bad night (511)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I swear they were about to hook up!!

  (1-240): View more from Maryland

  I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.

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  (240): I swear they were about to hook up!! (1-240): I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot. http://tfl.nu/yhvp
  Replies (5) Good night (1682) Bad night (454) Order T-Shirt
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  (779): View more from Illinois

  I smell like gasoline and adventure.

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  (779): I smell like gasoline and adventure. http://tfl.nu/rkdf
  Replies (18) Good night (2361) Bad night (515) Order T-Shirt
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.

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  (606): Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend. http://tfl.nu/7yx3
  Replies (3) Good night (577) Bad night (190) Order T-Shirt

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