You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize