i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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