I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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