Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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