sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize