Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize