im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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