Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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