I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
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My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
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I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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