why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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