I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
There's even glitter on my cock...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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