saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize