i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
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