I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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