haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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