Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
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