Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I FOUND THE LEGS
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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