She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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