the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my night got REAL pukey
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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