Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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