I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
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I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
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we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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