bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize