k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize